The third session at the Ironwood couples’ retreat this year was a split session.  Our speakers were Dennis and Marilyn St. Lawrence.  Dennis is the pastor at Grace Baptist Church in Chariton, Iowa.  This message is for the men only (but you ladies feel free to keep us accountable).  I like this:  “Don’t depend on your wife to be your cheerleader.”  Ha!  Ironwood provides access to the messages as well.  Go to ironwoodaudio.org  User name:  CRC2017 and the PW: Transformed.

1. I need to be the spiritual leader in the home.

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

-It’s not so much where you are at, but where you are going.  Why are we resisting?  Why are you doing what you’re doing?  Don’t depend upon your wife to be your cheerleader.

-If I am not the spiritual leader, my wife will be insecure, lack confidence, and look for leadership elsewhere.

2. Make my wife first place in my life and show it.

-It fosters insecurity in my wife when she is not first place.

-If I want my wife to love me, I must love her first …and keep on loving her.  Leave her notes and text her.  Make time for her.  Date.  Helping with the house.  Practice good manners.

3.  Value my wife’s opinion.

-What do you think of this?  If you don’t, she won’t respect or admire you.

4.  Show self-control and personal inner discipline.

-Anger destroys the spirit of oneness.  There is a connection between anger and moral impurity.

-You are married to meet your wife’s needs.  She’s not a prostitute to meet your needs.

5.  Speak to her in a gentle spirit.

-Be a gentleman.  No harsh words or tones.  Be a kind, loving leaders.  Look at Jesus as your example.

-Demonstrate a servant’s heart and a learner’s spirit.  Your wife is God’s daughter.

6.  Praise her and recognize her attempts to please you.

-Wives must feel needed and appreciated.  Praise her in front of others.  Life isn’t the same without her.

-Develop a premature nostalgia.  Think of what you will miss when she is gone.

-If you don’t, her heart will look for praise from others.

7.  Build and protect her.

-Remove fear and anxiety from her life.  Address them with the word of God.  Pray.  Ask what Sue fears.  Tell her to circle two of these items for you to work on.

-Value honest even if it hurts.

-Be a one-woman man.

8.  Provide time for intimate and personal conversation.

-Women talk by bonding and connecting.  Give her your undivided attention.

-Be all there.  She must know you are listening.

9.  Spend quality and creative time with children.

-Give them quality time.  Wives love to see husbands loving their children in practical ways.

-Organized sports ruin families.  Spend time with your kids.

10.  Acknowledge failures and seek forgiveness.

-Admit when you are wrong.  Don’t ever think that you’re never wrong.

-When has she heard, “I was wrong.”  God resists the proud; so does your wife.  Embrace humility – an ongoing process.